Bananas in my oatmeal, bananas on my granola, banana smoothies, banana snow cone, bananas on a peanut butter bagel, chocolate covered frozen bananas, banana bread, bananas on my ice cream, just a plain banana with peanut butter... any way it comes I will eat em. I seriously heart bananas right now.

Where we were and where we are

Friday we jumped another hurdle. I can't tell you the relief that I feel each time we successfully get to another milestone. This is where we started  on April 27th, fingers crossed and just hoping that third times a charm...

And here is where we are as of friday...

One baby growing comfortably measuring two days ahead of schedule. I am elated. It was so nice to see a heartbeat at that appointment, both the IF and I let out a deep sigh and were relieved to get here... again.

I have been so cautiously excited to make it past each step that I have told very few people and not really let me believe that we are pregnant. Until Friday, I had a hard time looking past the present. I am and was just so scared that at anytime the other shoe is gonna drop and something unexpected will happen again. I guess that is still a possibility but the chances are decreasing as time goes by. The ultrasound Friday was such a success. No stresses, no clots, no reason for worry, but lots of reasons to celebrate. Now all we have left at the clinic is one more ultrasound and then we start weaning. I think at that point I may be able to look toward the future and celebrate where we are.

The ones that know are asking how I'm feeling and the answer is good. I'm tired and reasonably hormonal, gotta love the hot flashes. But for the most part I'm happy and healthy and doing great. I will keep posting here with my progress but really wanted to say how happy I am that we are inching toward our goal with very few stresses.

and it continues to rise!

  I got my 20 post transfer beta drawn this morning and it was 2,416. They were looking for anything over 1,000 to be considered pregnant. So I guess they are just now considering me pregnant, even though I have considered myself that since transfer. They also drew my estrogen and progesterone and they also remain within normal limits, meaning no more weekly lab draws!! I do continue taking my daily shots and medications and continue to let my body catch up till 9 weeks and then we can start weaning off the meds.
  They also got me scheduled for our 7 week ultrasound to see the heartbeat and determine how many babies are in there. Most of the time the 20 day beta is above 3000 for twins but another surrogate in our group is pregnant with twins and her 20 day was 2800. So there really is no telling till we see the heartbeat(s).
   I also found out that after our first transfer, the one that resulted in a miscarriage, my level at this point was only 1300, so that left me with a positive feeling and continued hope that this time I will be able to give the IF's the healthy baby that they so deserve!! Every time I get more good news it starts to settle in that this is really happening. I feel like we have been trying for so long that it's almost surreal. I am still cautious as I know that things can change so fast. But I continue to have HOPE that this is it.
  What's next, you ask? 7 week ultrasound on May 25th.... stay tuned.

Hormones gone wild!

Holy smokes! These hormones are not messing around. I really don't remember being this crazy with my other pregnancies. It's kind of funny when I look back at the moments but not so funny living em. First I wake up out of a dead sleep every now and again sweating like crazy! Then ten minutes later I am freezing. In the morning I am again sweating and I ask the hubby "is it hot in here?" and with shivering teeth he tells me "um no its absolutely freezing!". So I didn't really think much of it until the next round of super hormones hit me. I went into work and got told I needed to float to a different unit to support them and what happens to me... tears start rolling down my cheeks. Now mind you, I have been trained to work on that floor and its not like gross nursing but I don't know what happened. I NEVER cry at work. I think it is such a sign of weakness and just don't do it. I may cry in the car on the way home but that is just for me. And again tonight I get the same info and what happens... more tears. They must think I am super crazy.

The results are in!

These past 10 days went by fairly quickly... well until the very last day. Monday was a long long day of waiting and hoping and wondering and speculating. My labwork was drawn at 10 am and by 4:30 neither the IF or myself had heard any results. Patience is not my strong suit, luckily my husband kept me occupied with lots of little things. By 4:30 my patience had run dry and I think my husband was tired of seeing me pace so I called the clinic only to hear that lovely busy signal. 15 minutes later I got the great news that my betas were in. They drew my hcg (pregnancy hormone) at 7 days post transfer and 10 days post transfer. They want to see the first beta over 6 and the second beta double. My first beta was 23 and the second was 62!!! That means we are PREGNANT! (well at least chemically, they don't consider it to be truly pregnant until the 7 week ultrasound when you can visualize a heartbeat.) That news made me really finally take a deep breath and relax... momentarily. I now continue on my medications and they will draw another HCG level at 20 days post transfer where they would like to see the beta above 1000, which would show them that the embryo(s) are implanted and growing as they should be.
My IF and I are really happy. It is one hurdle out of our way now I just wanna keep seeing things progress as they are suppose to. I want no big hurdles or anything to divert us from my IF's bringing home a healthy baby or babies? The miscarriage that we suffered in Nov. really has tainted my view and I don't wanna have all the excitement only to suffer again. I know that nothing can be done but what I am doing... so I will keep hoping that all works out for the best.
I have been so fortunate and continue to be. I have the best support system ever. My friends, family and fellow surro's have been so so supportive to me and the cause. Thank you for the calls, texts, babysitting help, laughs, words of confidence, prayers and everything else. xoxo to you all.

just waiting...

I am now waiting and will continue waiting till next monday afternoon. On friday afternoon we transfered two good looking embryos into my spongey uterus. I had two full days of bed rest, which I actually enjoyed. And now I have resumed my life and wait for the embryos to attach.
This is quite the emotional ride. When I had started this project... over a year ago now, I assumed that the emotional part would be at the baby's birth. I was sure I was strong enough to hand these great people their baby without a problem, and I continue to believe that. What I didn't realize was the emotions that I would feel prior to even getting pregnant. The first transfer I was naiive. I thought well why won't it work, I've never had problems getting pregnant. Which I have learned has absolutely nothing to do with getting pregnant via IVF. The second transfer I was sure that it would work because it had worked the first time. I was so upset when I heard the negative result and so hurt that these people couldn't yet bring a baby into this world when they so desired. Now after this transfer I am terrified. Before I was so anxiously awaiting my lab results and couldn't help taking home pregnancy test and this time I am not taking a home test and not counting the days till the results. I just want them to be positive so bad but I know that worrying and stressing doesnt change anything. So I am just gonna relax, live my life and keep HOPE!