The last few days

   Friday was extremely hard, emotionally. I had a really hard time getting my head around what had occurred. I knew that this was a risk that we took when we started this process but was not expecting it at all.
   Saturday was a little bit easier but continued wondering what if I was fifteen pounds lighter, what if I was less or more active, was it my sleeping on my stomach that one time??? I continued to know deep down that it was nothing I did but the thoughts continued in my head.
  Sunday was much better. No tears were shed and acceptance had set in. I was upset but started looking to the next step, passing the baby. The anxiety then set in. I had read lots on line and was super scared for what was to come. Thanks to other surrogates and the clinic my worries were put to rest. I took the medication at 10:30pm last night and passed what I believe was the baby @ 3:15am. I forgot what contractions really felt like, whew. And to know that they weren't leading to the goal of a healthy baby birth was really hard. I got through it  and am feeling better now. I finally got some sleep after 4 am and am just cramping now. Mentally I am accepting what has happened in the last few days and I know that we will be ok.
I can't thank all my friends and family enough for the continued love and support that has been shown to me during these few days.Even though my husband was out of town he was amazing.  My IF's were also so uplifting and supportive and that truly made such a difference.  I am excited to be on this journey with them. I am such a lucky girl.