Monday, January 30, 2012
it's a go!
I went in today for a lining check and another weekly blood draw and IT'S A GO! My lining was at 8... they like 6-8. Last time we struggled to get it to 6.5-7. This time it is way easier for my body. My blood levels have been so good that I am not on one additional med to help thicken my lining this time. I am so super happy about that because that med was nasty to my body. So as of now I start my big mama shots and pre transfer meds on saturday and don't need to go back to the clinic till transfer day!! Nothing holding us back from a transfer on Feb 9th... that's 10 days (but who's counting!)
Sunday, January 22, 2012
back on the wagon
I am back on the wagon... the medication wagon that is. I never thought that I would be excited to stab my booty with a 1 1/2 inch long needle but I am. I am that excited because I know that means we are getting closer to transfer day. I had a baseline ultrasound on Thursday and my lining and uterus look as they should and started Estradaol shots on Fridays and Tuesdays to help plump up my uterus. I continue to get accupuncture once a week and I am feeling very positive about this time around.
18 days and counting till transfer!
18 days and counting till transfer!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
We have a plan!
Yes, we finally have a plan. No more up in the air waiting. When I went in for my last lab draw I got the call that the results were negative!! That is exactly what we needed. Then the confusion started. One person said one timeline, another said something totally different and so on and so forth. But it doesn't matter now because I was able to get into see the doctor today and she gave a go ahead. All parts of my uterus are looking good and healed and ready to get pregnant again.
I received my calendars for this month and next that detail all the med stop and start dates and lab draws and ultrasounds. I made all my appointments through Feb. so full force ahead... and I am excited again!
So now the plan looks like this: meds, meds, acupuncture, and more meds to prep my body for another transfer of two healthy embryos. To which is planned for Feb. 9th. So positive thoughts and wishes are welcome!
I received my calendars for this month and next that detail all the med stop and start dates and lab draws and ultrasounds. I made all my appointments through Feb. so full force ahead... and I am excited again!
So now the plan looks like this: meds, meds, acupuncture, and more meds to prep my body for another transfer of two healthy embryos. To which is planned for Feb. 9th. So positive thoughts and wishes are welcome!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Lower,,, and lower... and almost there
It has been about 45 days since we miscarried and about 30 days since I posted anything and really not much has changed. We continue to wait for my hormone levels to return to zero. I continue to get my blood drawn every two weeks and I continue to hope to hear that day that the number is zero. I continue to not hear that but we are getting close.
One week after miscarrying my number was 972, two weeks after that my number was down to 61 and two weeks after that my number was down to 5 and now we wait two more weeks to hopefully hear we are clear to go. Not that I am sure what that would exactly mean... I have heard a few different options for what is to be next in our journey but for now we know that we need to drop that number to zero to move on.
In hopes of moving the number quicker I have started acupuncture. The other surrogates in my support group and some friends of mine swear by it. There have been studies to show that acupuncture helps increase blood flow to the uterus and increase fertility. I have heard numerous stories about failed attempts and then following acupuncture a positive outcome...a healthy baby or two. The acupuncturist swears that it will help renew and refresh me and also prep my body for the pending transfer and upcoming pregnancy. I have been two times and it is a totally new experience for me. It is almost like he is talking a different language to me. I've had 13 needles carefully and specifically placed each session along with a heat lamp over my abdomen to work it's magic. The acupuncturist recommends one session per week up till transfer but with the holidays I won't be back till after the new year. I enjoy the sessions and do feel that it gives me more energy and positivity in this journey and everyday.
The intended father gave me the best advice for now... "let's just enjoy the holidays and look forward to January." And that is exactly what I intend to do.
Happy Holidays
One week after miscarrying my number was 972, two weeks after that my number was down to 61 and two weeks after that my number was down to 5 and now we wait two more weeks to hopefully hear we are clear to go. Not that I am sure what that would exactly mean... I have heard a few different options for what is to be next in our journey but for now we know that we need to drop that number to zero to move on.
In hopes of moving the number quicker I have started acupuncture. The other surrogates in my support group and some friends of mine swear by it. There have been studies to show that acupuncture helps increase blood flow to the uterus and increase fertility. I have heard numerous stories about failed attempts and then following acupuncture a positive outcome...a healthy baby or two. The acupuncturist swears that it will help renew and refresh me and also prep my body for the pending transfer and upcoming pregnancy. I have been two times and it is a totally new experience for me. It is almost like he is talking a different language to me. I've had 13 needles carefully and specifically placed each session along with a heat lamp over my abdomen to work it's magic. The acupuncturist recommends one session per week up till transfer but with the holidays I won't be back till after the new year. I enjoy the sessions and do feel that it gives me more energy and positivity in this journey and everyday.
The intended father gave me the best advice for now... "let's just enjoy the holidays and look forward to January." And that is exactly what I intend to do.
Happy Holidays
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Looking Forward
I just really wanted to say that I am ok. Many people have been checking on me and really I am doing better. There are definitely times that I struggle with the miscarriage but I know that won't help anything. So I continue looking forward.
I continue to bleed and shed the lining in my uterus, as my body attempts to return to normal. The lining that we worked so hard to build up and now we hope will quickly thin so we can move on. I went in today for lab work and to get a new plan established with the fertility clinic. My HCG hormone has dropped significantly since the last time it was checked but that was when I was approximately 5 weeks pregnant and when we wanted it to be high. Now we want it to drop. The plan is to recheck the level in 2-3 weeks and go from there. Hopefully it will be down to zero and we will be talking about a frozen transfer. I have heard that acupuncture helps lower levels after miscarriages and then increases blood flow to the uterus when doing IVF so I may just try that to help my body do what it needs to.
I continue to bleed and shed the lining in my uterus, as my body attempts to return to normal. The lining that we worked so hard to build up and now we hope will quickly thin so we can move on. I went in today for lab work and to get a new plan established with the fertility clinic. My HCG hormone has dropped significantly since the last time it was checked but that was when I was approximately 5 weeks pregnant and when we wanted it to be high. Now we want it to drop. The plan is to recheck the level in 2-3 weeks and go from there. Hopefully it will be down to zero and we will be talking about a frozen transfer. I have heard that acupuncture helps lower levels after miscarriages and then increases blood flow to the uterus when doing IVF so I may just try that to help my body do what it needs to.
Monday, November 7, 2011
The last few days
Friday was extremely hard, emotionally. I had a really hard time getting my head around what had occurred. I knew that this was a risk that we took when we started this process but was not expecting it at all.
Saturday was a little bit easier but continued wondering what if I was fifteen pounds lighter, what if I was less or more active, was it my sleeping on my stomach that one time??? I continued to know deep down that it was nothing I did but the thoughts continued in my head.
Sunday was much better. No tears were shed and acceptance had set in. I was upset but started looking to the next step, passing the baby. The anxiety then set in. I had read lots on line and was super scared for what was to come. Thanks to other surrogates and the clinic my worries were put to rest. I took the medication at 10:30pm last night and passed what I believe was the baby @ 3:15am. I forgot what contractions really felt like, whew. And to know that they weren't leading to the goal of a healthy baby birth was really hard. I got through it and am feeling better now. I finally got some sleep after 4 am and am just cramping now. Mentally I am accepting what has happened in the last few days and I know that we will be ok.
I can't thank all my friends and family enough for the continued love and support that has been shown to me during these few days.Even though my husband was out of town he was amazing. My IF's were also so uplifting and supportive and that truly made such a difference. I am excited to be on this journey with them. I am such a lucky girl.
Saturday was a little bit easier but continued wondering what if I was fifteen pounds lighter, what if I was less or more active, was it my sleeping on my stomach that one time??? I continued to know deep down that it was nothing I did but the thoughts continued in my head.
Sunday was much better. No tears were shed and acceptance had set in. I was upset but started looking to the next step, passing the baby. The anxiety then set in. I had read lots on line and was super scared for what was to come. Thanks to other surrogates and the clinic my worries were put to rest. I took the medication at 10:30pm last night and passed what I believe was the baby @ 3:15am. I forgot what contractions really felt like, whew. And to know that they weren't leading to the goal of a healthy baby birth was really hard. I got through it and am feeling better now. I finally got some sleep after 4 am and am just cramping now. Mentally I am accepting what has happened in the last few days and I know that we will be ok.
I can't thank all my friends and family enough for the continued love and support that has been shown to me during these few days.Even though my husband was out of town he was amazing. My IF's were also so uplifting and supportive and that truly made such a difference. I am excited to be on this journey with them. I am such a lucky girl.
Friday, November 4, 2011
A sad update...
I went in today for my 9 week scheduled ultrasound and to our surprise and saddened hearts we saw a sleeping angel baby without a heartbeat. I was to say the least devastated. The clinic attributes it to the bleeding that happened a little over a week ago and the thought that the stress of it all was too overwhelming for the baby to survive. The growth of the baby stopped about 3-4 days after the bleeding. The meds I am on have kept the baby inside of me but nothing could keep the baby living.
I felt so defeated and like such a failure. All day I have been racking my brain to figure out what I was doing or what I did wrong and in my heart I know that I did nothing wrong but my heart still hurts. Lucky for me I have some amazing friends and IF's. The fathers were so positive and loving towards me and all that we have gone through together that I couldn't have asked for more. My friends and other surrogates have been so supportive and caring towards the situation and appreciate all the love shown toward me.
So now we take a deep breath and let my body get back to normal before we try again. Yes we are going to try again and I have confidence that the next time will be the time that we get a healthy baby for these amazing guys.
I felt so defeated and like such a failure. All day I have been racking my brain to figure out what I was doing or what I did wrong and in my heart I know that I did nothing wrong but my heart still hurts. Lucky for me I have some amazing friends and IF's. The fathers were so positive and loving towards me and all that we have gone through together that I couldn't have asked for more. My friends and other surrogates have been so supportive and caring towards the situation and appreciate all the love shown toward me.
So now we take a deep breath and let my body get back to normal before we try again. Yes we are going to try again and I have confidence that the next time will be the time that we get a healthy baby for these amazing guys.
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